Disclaimer: This post – as indicated in the title – is about toilets. Though there are no stories detailing dirty business, it is implied. If you prefer more heart-warming topics, why not consider my posts about my favorite Berliner and having a baby in Germany.
The mysterious German Toilet
Photo: Erin Porter
Why are toilets feminine? The toilet is “die Toilette“ auf Deutsch. One of the many pronouns that make no sense, I have time to contemplate this oddity of German as I use one every day and have sampled facilities across Germany. I would consider myself an expert.
And I think German toilets may be superior. Hear me out…
I haven’t always felt this way. Upon opening my first German lid I was alarmed by two things – the lack of water and what appeared to be a shelf we’ve lovingly come to call the “lay-and-display”.
Where’s the Water?
I never thought about toilet water before leaving the US of A. But the lack of water in German toilets had me re-considering American toilets’ exuberant flow. On average, US toilets use two to three gallons of water for each flush. Two to three gallons (or 7.5 to 11.3 liters)!
Germans have a necessary obsession with energy usage and efficiency as energy costs are much higher in Europe. The extravagance of extra water literally equates to flushing money down the toilet. This is also more environmentally friendly which is sure to make any German happy.
To further facilitate saving water, there are usually two buttons to start the flow – one smaller embedded button for less water for number one and a larger push button for more water for number two. Unlike those low-flow toilets I’ve encountered in the States, most Germans toilets feature impressive suction despite the low water levels.
Back in the States, the overabundance of water felt positively decadent. And splashy. I am shocked to say that I am a German convert on this issue.
German Toilet Shelf
More surprising than the lack of water is the presence of a shelf in many toilets. I can hear you asking, “A shelf?! Like to put things on?”. My answer is yes, a shelf inside your toilet to put something very specific on. BM. Excrement. A #2. Scheiße.
What I came to know as the “lay-and-display” German toilet model has horrified and scarred many an expat or traveler. Instead of excretions making the plunge straight into the water, this toilet has a prominent shelf midway to catch everything.
The shelf PHOTO: Erin Porter
The natural question is why, oh why!, would Germans create this? And Germans have a practical, disgusting answer. I m told that the shelf is indeed to catch one’s leavings for examination. I have even heard this is for easy stool sample collection. How many stool samples is the average German taking?
The obvious downside (besides smell) is how to get the poo all the way down. A good German toilet has turbo suction that whisks away the offending object, but you may be left with Bremsstreifen (skid marks). After some experimentation and chatting with other “lay-and-display” survivors, I have heard of several solutions.
- Pre-flush – A delicate matter of timing can theoretically lube up the bowl with water just as you send down your offerings.
- Lay down extra paper – Another preparatory measure, laying down a little nest of toilet paper can possibly help ease the transition of the poo into the water below.
- Scoot forward – This requires some real maneuvering to aim forward to miss the shelf entirely.
- Toilet brush – The most common solution is to just clean up the mess. The omnipresent toilet brush can be found beside any toilet bowl in a residence, hotel room or at a restaurant. If you do leave a mark in a public place it is expected you clean it up.
Obviously this is a rather large flaw for those of us not interested in examining our leavings. But as I mentioned before, somewhere in the mysteries of low water/high shelf I have yet to come across a toilet that has jammed. Maybe I’m just lucky, but after spending a portion of my visit back to the States with plunger in hand I am bowing down to the German toilet. I’ll trade a plunger for a brush any day.
So there you have it – the fascinating German toilet. What toilets have you found on your travels?
This updated GW Expat Blog post was originally published on February 16, 2015.
I prefer the “shelf” in German toilets, as opposed to the “swimming pool” in American ones.
Though with German toilets there is the smell factor due to the shelf, at least you don’t get “splash-up”.
I can’t begin to express how much I *hate* — just HATE — getting water splashed on my behind from American toilets, if the job (just like a bomb drop) happens to be a rather large one.
Putting down a layer or two of toilet paper on the water surface in an American toilet can help reduce splash-up, but is wasteful.
Too little paper on the surface does no good (though extra paper is still required to wipe yourself dry from splash-up), and too much paper runs the risk of a poor flush or even stoppage.
And if you happen to do #1 before #2 during the same session, and THEN get splash-up — well then, consider your day ruined.
So, give me the shelf — I can handle the smell.
Well thought-out answer Mars! It is a topic for debate. I have stumbled on many a heated conversation between Germans and us outsiders over the better toilet model. I’m clearly not sold on the shelf, but I am learning to appreciate.
You can keep both the Shelf and the Space Station low-water toilets. I’ll take the US swimming pool toilets any day. Here’s why:
1) In just over 30 years of living in the US, I can think of a handful of times when water splashed on my ass. Compare this with having to scrub the toilet at least 1x/day for the past 8 years and we’re just shy of 3000 attempts to get rid of poop-graffiti vs 5 buttock splashes in less than 1/3 of the time I spent back home. And, let’s be honest here…the splash-back prevention is being replaced by a risk of nasty toilet brush poo-soup water dripping on your foot or on the bathroom floor (yet men are expected to sit down when they pee. Seems legit…) during the transfer of the toilet brush to and from the toilet and probably still at a great chance of happening than US toilet butt-cheek splash. lol
2) The attempts at preventing all of this hilarity defeat the purpose of these efficient toilets. Extra flushes waste water and laying down TP wastes paper. And, if water conservation was as important as people make it out to be, then we wouldn’t need a zillion glasses for every little drink when the bottle the drink came in works just fine.
So, yes…give me the US toilet. In an age of soapy-sudsy, flushable tushy wipes for all ages, I can handle a handful of splash-backs over the course of decades vs 365ish porcelain wisks + brush-holder poo-stew stirs per year.
The debate rages on! I love it. But not the shelf. Our new apartment has one and my rather indecisive feelings have moved back into the land of no.
Ah, well.
It is a conversation-starter…or stopper depending on your company.
I know this post is old. I stumbled upon it as I was researching a new toilet. Funny how that works!
During my brief 14 month or so stay in the Frankfurt area I was first introduced to the “shelf” at my significant other’s apartment. I didn’t clean the shelf like I was supposed to and received a talking to from my lady. We had a debate on whether it was better/more sanitary to let a little color stay on the shelf to be washed off at the next flushing…… or take a brush that had been used in direct contact with poo to just sit in the holder next to the toilet without knowing if it ever received any sort of disinfecting. I believe we agreed to disagree. I decided to just wait to sit down on a toilet until I could find one without a shelf. Being the curious type, I did try to perfect the use of the shelf toilet that could satisfy both of us by being clean and not having a soiled brush. I tried to sit backward on it once……..Didn’t work out so well. It was a little uncomfortable, and the inventible #1 that happens when you go #2 was a little tough to manage!
Always happy to see this silly – but serious – post get a comment. Trying the toilet backwards! That is a new one for me.
Glad you enjoyed! And you are right about things being not weird…just different. Always an important thing to remember, even when you are confronted with a shelf toilet.
Breaking news… after all these years I bring a new perspective from an Englishman with deep and dark experience of not only “The Ledge” but also Turkish toilets, both ancient and modern.
Now back in UK, the national health service invites me to send it samples of my poo from time to time. The Ledge would be perfect for this! Instead I have to invent an alternative platform to dry-catch the nasty, such as an ice cream carton wedged down the loo.
Modern Turkish toilets, built on the western ledge-less model have the addition of a mini bidet built in. This is a nozzle at the back under the rim used with soap to wash away those cling-ons. Toilets without this feature can be adapted by running a small copper tube to enter the bowl unobtrusively at the back underneath the seat, which I’ve done on mine.
Toilet brushes.. however do you clean them? Mine lurks in the corner and has never been used.
May all your logs be little ones.