…and Other Insights into German Culture

German Men Sit Down to Pee and Other Insights into German Culture
Authors: Niklas Frank and James Cave
Editions: Paperback or Kindle
HJ Publishing
152 pages (paperback)

ISBN-10: 099548130X
ISBN-13: 978-0995481305

In January 2015 there was a court ruling in a lawsuit in Düsseldorf, Germany. The judge ruled in favor of a man’s right to urinate while standing up – rebuffing a landlord’s demand that a male tenant pay damages resulting from uric acid splashing onto the bathroom’s marble floor. The judge ruled in the tenant’s favor, stating that men “urinating standing up is still common practice,” something that usually passes for obvious in most countries. The man did not have to pay the €1,900 in damages his landlord had claimed. But the German term “Sitzpinkler” (a man who sits to pee) has become a derogatory label implying that a man is not so manly.

I don’t know if that was the inspiration for this book or its title, but it was published about a year after the Düsseldorf court case. The book sometimes reflects the fact that it was written by two men (a German and an Irishman), starting with the title and front cover, and some chapters (“Watch German porn”), but it is written in a humorous, tongue-in-cheek style that’s easy to read. The information is something expats and other foreigners will find useful.

The book’s title probably should be “How to be German.” Each of the 60 chapters is a rule or guideline that you should follow if you want to behave like a German. Examples: “Go Dutch when it’s time to pay” (Germans prefer to split the bill rather than argue over who should pay), “Be as blunt as you like” (Germans tend to be very direct and don’t really do small talk), “Love your car” (some Germans treat their cars like a family member, and even create Facebook profiles for them), “Treat prostitution like any other job” (brothels are legal and regulated in Germany), “Flirt as inconspicuously as you can” (Germans are not really good at flirting), “Own a Schrebergarten” (allotment gardens are a German thing), and “Suffer from an ever-increasing list of health problems” (Germans are terrified by a draft and suffer from ailments unknown elsewhere).

The authors cover a good array of topics that foreigners in Germany should know. We also cover most of them here at the German Way, but I can fully recommend this book to non-Germans who want to better fit into the German way of life. Yes, there are some over-generalizations and stereotyping, but let me quote from the introduction:

Not everybody [in Germany] loves David Hasselhoff, waits patiently at the traffic lights, or gets excited about the start of the asparagus season. It’s rumoured that there are even a few unpunctual Germans. – Stay in German long enough, though, and you’ll see all of these rules in action at some point or another.

I’ll confess that I really wasn’t sure that a book entitled German Men Sit Down to Pee was something I wanted to read. But I was pleasantly surprised. The authors provide a lot of helpful and interesting information in a light-hearted, entertaining way.

– HF