As every other responsible expat that moves to Germany with the intention of making of Goethe’s land their new home I briefly attended formal German lessons at my arrival.

The teacher was nice, some of the people I met there were overly nice (if you know what I mean) and it was all in all quite ok to loosen up a bit and train my face to not betray how completely clueless I felt every time German was being spoken at a normal speed about any given random topic. It was awesome as well to learn how to properly singsong “Hallo” and “Tschüß”… but I once read somewhere that the effective way to assess when you have become proficient in a foreign language is when the native speakers don’t feel the need to compliment how well you speak their language and I didn’t feel like the school was going to do that trick for me.

“The ideal man does not smoke, does not drink, does not gamble – and does not exist.” The sad reality for many people. Foto: LauraV

Long story short I dropped out after the first pre-basic course and have been learning on my own and I love it. I love German and I get a kick out of being corrected or struggling for words. It’s a frustrating but humbling experience. Of course feeling dumb annoys the living daylights out of me, but it motivates me to improve. Good results in formal examinations (necessary for professional and academic purposes) and overly-nice comments of positively impressed Germans that find joy in the act of a foreigner voluntarily showing respect for their language don’t hurt either.

In this spirit of improvement, let me share with you some everyday German expressions that I listen to on a daily basis (at least here in the southern part of Germany) that nobody is going to teach you in school but you definitely need to know if you are interested in understanding and taking part in conversations or getting the jokes on the movies.

dumm und dämlich Dumm means dumb, foolish or stupid. Dämlich means dumb, asinine or stupid. Perfectly clear, right? Well, the phrase is used to refer to money for the most part. It means to either earn or spend money without control and measure, brutally, to say it somehow. For example, if someone is making money “dumm und dämlich” with some business, it means it is going incredibly great and this person is earning buckets of money. Like I said, you will hear this phrase mostly in reference to money matters, but it can also be used to express someone talks a lot or “until being blue in the face” (“sich dumm und dämlich reden) or that someone is looking for something “high and low” (sich dumm und dämlich suchen).

Um die Ohren hauen The literal translation of this expression is “to smack someone right above the ears” and it comes all the way from when people fought with swords. Back in the day, hitting someone over the head with your sword granted you both hurting and disorienting your opponent for it is a strategic spot to cause damage. This would give you the upper hand immediately and a window to act and defeat. Naturally it was a dirty move to make and in that spirit is that this phrase is used today. Something we can put next to “hitting below the belt”.

Krethi und Plethi (or sometimes wrongly spelled Gredi und Bledi) This expression comes all the way from the Old Testament and makes reference to King David’s most important helpers, who were of course, not liked by the regular population. Today this expression is used to describe situations where anyone is allowed in a certain place or to participate of a certain event. It has a negative implication that signals lack of exclusivity or taste. If “Krethi und Plethi” were invited to a certain party, it means people of all sorts were there, even the irrelevant and unimportant, “every Tom, Dick and Harry.” Ugh. Or if you hear that in a certain club they let “Krethi und Plethi” in, it implies there’s a low admission standard and “everybody and his brother” are allowed in. More ugh.

The place where it all started. Quite literally for me. Foto: Laura V

Auf biegen und brechen “By means of bending and breaking” is a very acceptable literal translation of this expression. It is used to state unyielding determination to achieve something, either from oneself or someone else. Let’s say something is very hard to do or the odds are against you but you are set on doing it anyway and at all costs, so you say you will achieve this something “auf biegen und brechen.” No matter what and whatever it takes. Go you!

Of course it can also have the negative connotation if it means you are being stubborn and holding onto something that’s not meant to be or it’s bad for you. Say a girl whose boyfriend chronically cheats on her but she insists on staying together with him “auf biegen und brechen”. Not so cool anymore.

Dumm wie Bohnenstroh sein “To be as stupid as the (empty) peel of a green bean” is the literal translation of this phrase, you can relate it to “dumb as a post” in English.

This one is not obscure because the literal translation is quite clear, but I love it. Many insults in German are very creative and I enjoy them a lot. This can very well be the cousin of the good ol’  “dumb as bread” that’s commonly used here as well, but somehow comparing someone’s intellect to the dry and empty case of a green bean takes things to a whole new level of aggression without using dirty words. Melikes.

Now would be the right moment to leave comments with more expressions to add to this list, just saying.